This time tomorrow. (A catharsis)

Recently, I've been listening to a series podcast entitled "Times and Seasons" by Elevation Church. (I highly recommend it.) One episode of the 4-part podcast talks about how we experience life in times and in seasons. At first, I didn't fully understand the concept being preached to me but a sudden realization hit me that made me understand why life is experienced in such a way is because life as opposed to what we believe as experienced linearly (from point A to point B) is more complex than that. Just like how times and seasons transition in contrast with one another, life is also experienced in a series of contrasting seasons. Life's not an A+B=C linear equation.

As I kept listening, I reflected upon myself and saw how the world has conditioned me to think and believe that life can be as easy as a linear equation. That if I follow all the instructions correctly, if I wear the vibrating ab belt just right, then i'll get the results I want even if it means not putting in any of the work. Upon the end of the podcast, I realized how shallow I was living my life. I thought I already had a good idea of how I should live my life when really, I was barely even scratching the surface. I guess there's also no A+B=C equation to enlightenment and direction as well.

It's such a common sentiment to know that life first breaks you before it makes you but it's totally different when you're actually in the process. It's so tempting to find a quick-fix for all that's been happening. It's easier to live in my fantasy world, a train of dreams, keeping actual existence outside. For me and maybe even for some of us, it's better to look ridiculous than to actually face the reality of situations. As long as our wounds are bandaged, it doesn't exist. And along with this sad reality is what causes it: inevitable suffering. Life just doesn't play by the rules of common decency even if you do, even if you don't.

I was trying to see how far I've come only to see how far I was running away from my issues (my reality). I soon developed the ability of self-deception. Completely ignoring the consequences of my actions and the magnitude of my life at hand. I cannot simply move forward. But as I was listening to the second episode of the series, the verse and the depth of Galatians 6:9 was continually impressed upon me even in the following days. This is how the verse goes, "Let us not be weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." I received the message God wanted me to hear through the preaching. For God, every moment in time has the potential to be a God moment as long as we try to find God in that moment and we often miss those God moments because we often don't know what we're looking for. And for me, I will be able to seize those moments only if I recognize and respond as I persevere steadily.

With this verse in mind and heart, I decided that there is no set way to embark life. I was stuck on the train of fantasy I called life aimlessly moving forward not even sure what was going on in the cars of my train let alone trying to figure out what's rushing by me outside my closed perspectives. But let me tell you, there is no need to dwell on the path you took. Now is always an apt time as to any to turn around. All of our discoveries are limited to how far we're willing to go to make it happen. As long as we're locked in our trains, we can never delve into something real in our surroundings or, most importantly, in ourselves. Because only in these conditions, when we're set outside our hermetically sealed fantasy world, it's when we truly embark on a real journey. And as you re-enter a new train, you are no longer a novice on the tracks. Instead, you will be well acquainted with what you need to go through life's trip.